Begin with end in mind
I'm clueless about what I might find at the end of the road...
It seems that I am not at the highest peak of my life. I am waiting for that bright light which seems to shine my path all this while. Hence I am thinking long and hard how do I make this 2 dreading years of my life worth living, to live it to the fullest rather than just following the path that HE has lay for me. I want to make this just as great as my past experiences has been. Making sure I fully understand this motto I have been striving for , 'erti kehambaan hakikat kehidupan' which I have learnt that I am in charged of my life as long as HE is my guide and protector. It is me who has to be in control and leave the rest to HIM, faith is all that I need to face this.
So here is my plan, as I have mentioned before, dreams need to be written down for it to be realized and I believe by writing my dreams I am taking the first step to make it come true, insyaAllah.
This 2 years of my HO life would be the time for me to understand the meaning of being HIS true slave, giving salvation 24-7 and not just during prayer time etc. It is a theory that I have been learning so many times but in practical it is very difficult, so this is the perfect time, His tarbiyyah to me to understand the theory and practice it. Just like Saidina Ali spoken of knowledge and how it is only beneficial if you practice them,do not be like the donkey carrying the heavy books however failed to learn them as Imam Ghazali compared the two.
And I hope every time I failed, He would help me to get up and keep me company all the time just as He always been and will be. amen
I would saved up to perform umrah and bring my mom, dad and sister insyaAllah at the end of my HO years. After that I would continue my traveling to the rest part of the world just as I have always love to do. To finish my journey to the middle east then following the path where Islamic civilization begins and perhaps to go back to where I have started my life, the UK.
In the meantime I also hope that I will find a husband, with His will to perhaps share this dream of mine and understand the true meaning of this life. To live without the fear of not having the worldly things - the big cars, house and all the things that I found so disturbing of this world and interfere with the matter of heart. I have seen times and time again how it crush the more important things in this life. May Allah give me the best man for my religion, and if it would deviate me away from You, then I rather be alone and focus my life to strive on Your path, to devote my life for dakwah.
And for the only man in my life at the moment, today watching Eat,Pray and Love made me think how I can treasure my family while I was away but not while I am near. And for her to realize the important things in life only after losing everything in life made me not want to be like that. Hence, I will try very hard insyaAllah, I promise to myself to give my best for him, as how the Prophet saw manage to influence people by his amazing attitude and patience and so will I,insyaAllah. But Allah, I need you so in this fight that I have been fighting for, so many times I have given up but trying to rise again just because he is my father and I love him, and because Your blessings is partly his.
And so I will continue dreaming, although it seems so far away to be come true but none of this is impossible.
How He has planned everything so perfectly, all that I need is patience... and effort-mujahadah in this path to find His blessings.
It seems that I am not at the highest peak of my life. I am waiting for that bright light which seems to shine my path all this while. Hence I am thinking long and hard how do I make this 2 dreading years of my life worth living, to live it to the fullest rather than just following the path that HE has lay for me. I want to make this just as great as my past experiences has been. Making sure I fully understand this motto I have been striving for , 'erti kehambaan hakikat kehidupan' which I have learnt that I am in charged of my life as long as HE is my guide and protector. It is me who has to be in control and leave the rest to HIM, faith is all that I need to face this.
So here is my plan, as I have mentioned before, dreams need to be written down for it to be realized and I believe by writing my dreams I am taking the first step to make it come true, insyaAllah.
This 2 years of my HO life would be the time for me to understand the meaning of being HIS true slave, giving salvation 24-7 and not just during prayer time etc. It is a theory that I have been learning so many times but in practical it is very difficult, so this is the perfect time, His tarbiyyah to me to understand the theory and practice it. Just like Saidina Ali spoken of knowledge and how it is only beneficial if you practice them,do not be like the donkey carrying the heavy books however failed to learn them as Imam Ghazali compared the two.
And I hope every time I failed, He would help me to get up and keep me company all the time just as He always been and will be. amen
I would saved up to perform umrah and bring my mom, dad and sister insyaAllah at the end of my HO years. After that I would continue my traveling to the rest part of the world just as I have always love to do. To finish my journey to the middle east then following the path where Islamic civilization begins and perhaps to go back to where I have started my life, the UK.
In the meantime I also hope that I will find a husband, with His will to perhaps share this dream of mine and understand the true meaning of this life. To live without the fear of not having the worldly things - the big cars, house and all the things that I found so disturbing of this world and interfere with the matter of heart. I have seen times and time again how it crush the more important things in this life. May Allah give me the best man for my religion, and if it would deviate me away from You, then I rather be alone and focus my life to strive on Your path, to devote my life for dakwah.
And for the only man in my life at the moment, today watching Eat,Pray and Love made me think how I can treasure my family while I was away but not while I am near. And for her to realize the important things in life only after losing everything in life made me not want to be like that. Hence, I will try very hard insyaAllah, I promise to myself to give my best for him, as how the Prophet saw manage to influence people by his amazing attitude and patience and so will I,insyaAllah. But Allah, I need you so in this fight that I have been fighting for, so many times I have given up but trying to rise again just because he is my father and I love him, and because Your blessings is partly his.
And so I will continue dreaming, although it seems so far away to be come true but none of this is impossible.
How He has planned everything so perfectly, all that I need is patience... and effort-mujahadah in this path to find His blessings.
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