Erti kehambaan, hakikat kehidupan

It make me wonder if i stay would it been better... I did what i did because of them and yet this heart keep on breakiNG.... I KNOW i am not good enough.. .. I tried i failed and i keep on trying but it is never good enough... I see others smiling and genuinely treasuring what they have... Why can't we be like that ? Only He knows what goes through my mind and heart... I wish only for 'keluarga bahagia' but i can only smile in jealousy watching others ooo how i wish.... I pray and i pray.... I know all of these is to purify my intention... And SO Allah please make me strong... As i am growing weaker and weaker, almost on the edge of breaking down... Whatever holds in front me i shall be fine as long as You are with me. And so please guide me... Make me strong... Why must this heart complicate things... Lailatulema abbas just do it...

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah For I am still breathing at the age of 27y/o on the 6th of December 2013, I can never thank Him enough for all the things that He has given me, never once He has disowned me although many times I feel otherwise being a weak servant of His. Finally, my MO years will start here in Batu Pahat district Johor. Another chapter of my life in my search to find true meaning of this life... There is only two person in my life who thought the real meaning of Love, being foreign to have a lover's love in which I am not actively searching for one as the love I currently has suffice me. And this year I want to be more and more thankful than before in my heart, my act and word and so I am telling this story.... I learnt that love will make you smile and cry, It is a cure but can also be a poison, That it is beautiful when you longed for it, That yes it is true, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and a mother's love & father's ...

'you did all the dangerous things that I dislike' ... It appears as I have always been a disappointment to him... but this is my way, my way to treasure my life, to feel that I am alive Alhamdulillah I managed to do wall climbing today  http://www.camp5.com/  and it was amazing and I want to do it again probably being serious about it too! With a bruise at my right elbow as a proved that I did it ,I went home feeling satisfied to reach my short term goal. Today I learnt, .. getting down is much harder than climbing up, this makes me think about those people who committed suicide due to bankruptcy after reaching their highest point in their life and suddenly being hit hard to the lowest point in their life, that must how it feels like. And life is just that, you thought that after reaching/passing the things that you aimed for you are done for but unfortunately you will find another bumpy rides, but you just have to go on, you can't cling on to the present forev...

I have just watched one of the talk show who interviewed one of the celebrity (which I don't know who) and how she mentioned most of her life she was shadowed by the need to have a man to define who she really was... and I was astonished at how true her words are, most of the women I have met, including those near to me for example my mother feels exactly the same way... and me without realising this before am thankful for I am at peace for not having any men to over shadow or to define who I am, definitely due to Him and the gift to be able to understand the real meaning of life. With the opportunity that I get to study in the UK and travel to some part of the world, I must say that it is just how it is any where in this world, I am not saying that it is wrong, certainly it is a bless to find that perfect match and for him to be able to protect and perfect each other BUT it is also all right to not meet that special person and be happy with what you have... not to be jud...

Every one expect for a better change in their life, and so do I. Life is an ever going long journey for the mind,soul and physical, There will never be an end to it unless He decided that it is the time, And until then, you shall continue in this journey with all your might, No matter how tough it gets, With your very last breath you are suppose to strive and leave the rest to Him. And with only faith that your heart can be at peace, Knowing that only Him that matters and life here means nothing more than a play. Just like how the sun shine, refreshing and brightened up the life, never it fails Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, On the 18th of October 2013 marked my day as an MO, unfortunately I know nothing will change nor be better. Life gets tougher as you go on, so I know I will pull through, but these two years taught me a lot about myself and others. The extent to people will go to achieve what they believe, which is a good thing in the beginning but ...

Again, His test befall upon that soul, Just as His promise, She said that word that always make me become speechless, ‘All my life I have been tested but all I can do is be patience.’ Indeed you have me dear beloved, Only Him and me know how much you have been through, Since I was little, tears never leave you, Just as He promise, He is always testing you,me... us Again I keep asking why,  searching for the reason or maybe someone to blame, But at the end that is not what this test is for, Life is too short to dwell on why or why not, It is about finding the meaning in every steps that we take, Hence, instead of asking why, I should be asking what and how will we get through this, And we will get through this, Together, As long as He is with us, Even if the sky fall upon us, We will be all right, InsyaAllah. O Allah, I think every soul is trying their best to survive in this cruel world, although it may seem wrong, I know you are...