Searching for the true meaning of live, as a servant of His in this temporary life.. starting with learning how to give in order to receive
Usaha bukan menghukum-Ustaz Hasrizal
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"dan hendaklah engkau merendahkan diri kepada keduanya kerana belas kasihan dan kasih sayangmu, dan doakanlah: 'Wahai tuhanku! Cucurilah rahmat kepada mereka berdua sebagaimana mereka telah mencurahkan kasih sayangnya memelihara dan mendidikku semasa kecil" (al isra' :24)
Biar kejam seorang bapa,
biar cuai seorang ibu
Mahupun busuk seorang bapa
biar kafir atau sundal sekalipun seorang ibu
bukan anak yang bertindak menghukum mereka. Segala dosa ibu bapa, kecuaian mereka dan serba-serbi kesalahan dan kekurangan mereka, ibu bapa itulah yang akan bersoal jawab dengan Allah tentang peranan dan tanggungjawab mereka terhadap kita.
Namun bagi seorang anak, tugas kita adalah untuk tetap menghormati, menjaga kebajikan,memelihara dan memenuhi keperluan mereka tatkala mereka dalam hajat yang diwajarkan syariat.
"ibu bapa adalah pintu syurga paling tengah. Terserlah kepada kamu sama ada mahu mensia siakan pintu itu atau memeliharanya" (hadis riwayat Ahmad, At Tarmizi dan ibu Majah)
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Diri semakin sukar mencari kekuatan, kekuatan untuk terus berjuang. Hati ini semakin gelisah, mencari arah, mencari suatu pautan, untuk diri terus maju ke destinasi yang pasti.
Di mana harus aku bermula, di mana harus aku melangkah?
Aku rindukan biah solehah itu, aku rindukan hati-hati yang tenang mencari redha Ilahi.
Aku rasa bagaikan di penjara, di penjara dari kebebasan mencari kebenaran, dan aku terus bersendirian.
Aku tahu kebenaran mesti ditegakkan, namun di mana titik noktah antara kebatilan?
Aku semakin gelisah, sukar menentukan tindakan dalam setiap perbuatan. Aku gugup jika langkah ku memalingkan aku kembali ke lembah kegelapan.
Syukur aku masih merasa nusrahNya, diberi nafas baru dalam mencari cahaya dalam kelam ini.
Hanya aku pohon jangan Engkau biarkan aku sendiri dalam mencari mutiara buat bekalan kehidupan yang lebih hakiki.
Bismillah... I haven't done this for awhile many too long while and now I think I need to start doing what I used love doing which is writing Do you know what it means to be 30 but still feel like you are a kid? Today I feel the need to share how it feels to be living with your parents at the age of 30 because it is difficult for me that made me wonder do other people feel the same as me? and as I am trying to be a better me, this is an issue I need to improve on. With the intention of being a good daughter I decided to come back home and stay, to care for them without knowing what I have put myself into :) It is like having a roommate who is annoying but who you can't ignore unlike if it is your roommate, you can either kick them out or move houses. They are some one who you have to accept and love for who they really are, That they make me think how they must have felt when they had me as their new 'roommate' , how I use to whine and cry and how they can...
This shall be my tribute to my beloved parents, Mak and E, thou with heavy hearts and teary eyes I am typing this, I feel that I owed them, to tell the world how an amazing parents they have been who have made me who I am today.... It has been almost 4 years (next year) since I lost them. It is a roller coaster ride managing the emotions guilt and hope love and regrets perhaps utmost emotion that is hard to dealt with was the emptiness of knowing some one who is always there is no longer with you... Have you ever wrote a long love letter to your parents? Posting it across the continent from Newcastle to Malaysia, making the font as big as I could so both of them could read it. I did.... And I still regret it, I wish I would have written more letters and said more I love you and I am sorry I wish I would taken more pictures with them (as I hate taking pictures) ...perhaps when I got to be the best student in Convent, you only took picture of me without...
As it gets lonelier nowadays, more questions popped up on my mind I started to understand things more now and questioning less Staying true to curiosity kills the cat which I disagree so much before but now perhaps it is more relevant than ever It is so tiring living in this world now I have given up on social media nowadays that everyone is trying to show all in the web as if anyone really cares I just want to stay true to myself After passing one of the hardest exam I have ever encounter I felt that one of the heaviest burden has been lifted however many things remained the same still There will always be new challenges or things which you put on hold to be taken care of There is no running away from responsibilities As life is not about sleeping, eating and repeating itself over and over again It is when it has meaning that it is called LIFE where you could LIVE in Chasing over your dream no matter how ridiculous it could be...
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