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me amazing roommate

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Bismillah... I haven't done this for awhile many too long while and now I think I need to start doing what I used love doing which is writing Do you know what it means to be 30 but still feel like you are a kid? Today I feel the need to share how it feels to be living with your parents at the age of 30 because it is difficult for me that made me wonder do other people feel the same as me? and as I am trying to be a better me, this is an issue I need to improve on. With the intention of being a good daughter I decided to come back home and stay, to care for them without knowing what I have put myself into :) It is like having a roommate who is annoying but who you can't ignore unlike if it is your roommate, you can either kick them out or move houses. They are some one who you have to accept and love for who they really are, That they make me think how they must have felt when they had me as their new 'roommate' ,  how I use to whine and cry and how they can...
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HOLO = 홀로

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This shall be my tribute to my beloved parents, Mak and E, thou with heavy hearts and teary eyes I am typing this, I feel that I owed them, to tell the world how an amazing parents they have been who have made me who I am today....  It has been almost 4 years (next year) since I lost them. It is a roller coaster ride managing the emotions  guilt and hope love and regrets perhaps utmost emotion that is hard to dealt with was the emptiness of knowing some one who is always there is no longer with you...  Have you ever wrote a long love letter to your parents? Posting it across the continent from Newcastle to Malaysia, making the font as big as I could so both of them could read it. I did....   And I still regret it, I wish I would have written more letters and said more I love you and I am sorry I wish I would taken more pictures with them (as I hate taking pictures)  ...perhaps when I got to be the best student in Convent, you only took picture of me without...
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19/01/22

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 Tomorrow will mark 1 year that mak has left us, it might be like any other day for others but to me it will be the saddest day of my life.  Every now and then, I will miss her phone call that I used to lament about. 'Ema balik makan?' Every now and then, I will wonder how much tissue she would have used if she is here.  Sometimes, I recalled the time we spent stuck together at the hospital and going back and forth from IJN to home, listening to Happy by Pharrell and how she said she liked that song. How she always fall asleep in front of the television and I would always tell her to go in and go to sleep.  Everyday, as I looked back I know all her life she live for others, for me, my sister and my dad.  I hope now she is resting in a better place.  And now, every now and then, I silently pray for her happiness and still hope she will always be looking and praying for me like how she always do. This little hope thou I know those who left has no more attachm...
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