Erti kehambaan, hakikat kehidupan

Allahu Allah, 26 and still breathing, thank you Allah. I shall not ask for more than what I have now because I know that this soul shall never be satisfied with the worldly things, thus I am praying that what is left of my time here will be used wisely for your sake. Ameen. That is all I need, I remember 2 years ago I want to instill this sunnah, “Sangat mengagumkan kepada seorang mukmin, sebab segala keadaannya untuk ia sangat baik, dan tidak mungkin terjadi demikian kecuali bagi seorang mukmin: jika mendapat nikmat ia bersyukur, maka syukur itu sangat baik baginya dan bila menderita kesusahan ia bersabar, maka sabar itu lebih baik baginya.” (Hadis riwayat Muslim) I am unsure of how I have become this past 2 years, more over being alone, away from the bi'ah solehah I always have known and love. Living in Malaysia is far more challenging that what I have expected; mentally, physically and emotionally. I fall many times and I hope that He shall forgive all the mistakes and...

Alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah. Being thankful for everything that I have and unable to own. :) Practically been having a quiet life since coming back from UK, The smell of UK is fading from my clothes, The visual image is getting more hazy now, ALthough I can never forget the hardship and tears I shed there, How I ran away by taking a trip to where ever I wish in the train, Walking in the snow and at times under the bright sun, That still stays dear to my heart. The memories will never fade away, This soul will always wish to go back to that place, Where it once find peace and comfort, Where I feel free and happy, But in knowing what you have lost, Will you then treasure what you have, And this means coming back and forth between this trouble hearts. I will go with what HE has decide for me, As never in my heart I have doubt over HIS decision, So I will stood my ground, To make each second meaningful, To make sure each step I make, Will make me a b...

Alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah kerana aku masih bernafas menghirup kesegaran nikmat udara yang tidak ternilai. Alhamdulillah juga kerana aku selamat kembali dari jihad kecil ku pada 28.4.2012. Satu pengalaman yang membangkitkan semangat dan mengingatkan aku kepada erti kehidupan,hakikat kehambaan. Dan memberikan aku sisi pandangan yang baru untuk kerjaya ku sendiri.Alhamdulillah. Tiada gambar yang akan aku paparkan kerana aku sukar bercerita melalui gambar yang telah banyak tidak menimbulkan pelbagai kontroversi dan bahan fitnah oleh semua pihak. Cerita aku penulisan tulus dari hati anak muda yang hanya inginkan keadilan dan kebenaran jika bukan untuk diriku untuk generasi hadapan yang bakal berdepan cabaran berkali ganda hebat dariku. Posisi Kali ini aku pergi sebagai seorang yang berkecuali menjadi sebahagian daripada 'medic team' yang ditugaskan untuk menjadi 'non-participant' dan membantu semua yang memerlukan berbanding tahun lepas di mana aku ...

Langkah ku ayun, Bekalan telahku sediakan, Bukan untuk diriku, Tetapi untuk agama dan bangsaku, Mereka mungkin dalam lena yang panjang, Namun aku telah bangun, Maka aku perlu memacu arus perubahan ini. Walau aku tahu ia penuh ranjau dan duri, Namun usaha murni membersihkan jalan perjuangan perlu dipertahankan, Walau nyawa menjadi pertaruhan. Maka diri, ayunlah kakimu, Selaju Asma' ketika membantu kekasihNya, Sekental Khaulah Al-Azwar di medan jihad, Segagah Nusaybah di Medan Uhud, Walau apa pun jua pengakhirannya, moga ia bisa menjadi hujjah diri kelak bila bertemu Tuhan. o Allah, purify my intention and protect us til the day of Judgement. ameen. bismillah....

Alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah. I finally have the answers... Never in my life when I looked back HE decided something bad for me I am a dreamer, but i never thought that my dreams will be coming true. Alhamdulillah, SubahnaAllah, Allahu Akbar, at the end it all did. I dreamt of studying abroad, not that I managed to get that but I also get the greatest gift a servant could have ask for, the gift of Hidayah, Allahu Allah, Never You failed to shower Your love to me. Being in the UK while trying my best to be His good servant is not an easy task, Alone, Confused at times, Cold (literally too!) and with the rest of mixed feelings it carried, made me more closer to Him, made me realized that He is always there and with Him only can you survive. I have travelled to many places (although still wishing to travel more) Experienced things that you could only dream of, and the 'jaulah' I've taken made me more humble at how small and powerless I am...

Alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah for each breath and strength to still face all the challenges that has come my way. Scene: at the 'chronic cubicle'- what I called it at least- one of the patient playing oldies Malay song while I was doing my discharge summary. I smile and looked at those beautiful faces .... I still remembered how each of them came in very ill and it even cross my mind that they might not survive but masyaAllah, they survived! all the way through, each time that their body failed them but not their will to live and with His blessings there are still breathing. And through their eyes I see and I believe 1. Push aside the stigmata about AIDS, let us together build our life for the better Yes, even for me a health care worker, I am scared, each time I need to take those bloods or to touch any patient with AIDS although I have the knowledge --> The prophet said ' when Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understandi...

'Adakah patut kamu menyangka bahawa kamu akan masuk Syurga, padahal belum sampai kepada kamu ( ujian  dan cubaan) seperti yang telah berlaku kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kamu? Mereka telah ditimpa kepapaan (kemusnahan hartabenda) dan serangan penyakit, serta digoncangkan (oleh ancaman bahaya musuh), sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman yang ada bersamanya: Bilakah (datangnya) pertolongan Allah? Ketahuilah sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat (asalkan kamu bersabar dan berpegang teguh kepada agama Allah).' -Al-Baqarah:214 Itu adalah suatu janji yang pasti akan terjadi kerana itu janji dariNya. Dalam setiap detik kehidupan Allah akan menguji kita, tika mana kita merasakan bahawa aku kini telah sampai ke penghujung jalannya, ia datang kembali menguji kita. Kerana janjinya benar dan pasti berlaku.  Tiada guna hati mengeluh, tiada guna lidah berbicara menutur bisa dan putus asa kerana setiap yang terjadi adalah ketentuanNya dan pasti ada hik...

 mukmin ‘abid, dai’e muharrik, mujahid mundhabit, mujammik, muassis dan muathir

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah All praises is due to Allah swt. Every breath, every steps along the way, Never He fails to be by my side... Thank you Allah. Alhamdulillah setelah lama tak sakit,akhirnya, Allah berikan sakit pada diri ini, moga ia menjadi kifarah diri yang terlalu banyak noda dan dosa. ameen ya Rabb. Sungguh, nikmat sihat sebelum sakit nikmat yang mudah dilupakan. Maafkan hambaMu ini ya Allah. Sudah masuk minggu ke-3 aku berada di posting yang baru, subhanaAllah banyak sungguh yang aku pelajari mengenai kehidupa, dalam mengenal erti kehambaan... sungguh nikmat kehidupan, setiap helaan nafas adalah hak milik mutlak Allah swt, bila saat nyawa di kerongkongan tiada apa yang mampu dilakukan, di saat itu jelaslah segala hakikat kehidupan. Terbukalah semua hijab yang suatu masa dahulu sering kali menjadi tanda tanya kehidupan. ya Allah, sungguh aku gerunkan dan risau mengenai nasib diri ku kelak bila bertemu dengan malaikat Izrael, mampukah aku melihat...

Daripada Abu al-’Abbas, Abdullah ibn Abbas, r.a.ﺎﻤﻬﻨﻋ ﷲا ﻲﺿر beliau berkata: Aku pernah duduk di belakang Nabi SAW pada suatu hari, lalu Baginda bersabda kepadaku: Wahai anak! Sesungguhnya aku mahu ajarkan engkau beberapa kalimah: Peliharalah Allah nescaya Allah akan memeliharamu. Peliharalah Allah nescaya engkau akan dapati Dia di hadapanmu. Apabila engkau meminta, maka pintalah dari Allah. Apabila engkau meminta pertolongan, maka mintalah pertolongan dengan Allah. Ketahuilah bahawa kalau umat ini berkumpul untuk memberikan sesuatu manfaat kepadamu, mereka tidak akan mampu memberikanmu manfaat kecuali dengan suatu perkara yang memang Allah telah tentukan untukmu. Sekiranya mereka berkumpul untuk memudharatkan kamu dengan suatu mudharat, nescaya mereka tidak mampu memudharatkan kamu kecuali dengan suatu perkara yang memang Allah telah tentukannya untukmu. Pena-pena telah diangkatkan dan lembaran- lembaran telah kering (dakwatnya). Tiada siapa tahu apa yang tersimpan dalam isi kehi...

Alhamdulillah, it's been a week I have been in Medical department. Only to HIM belong all praises. Alhamdulillah It's been again hard and difficult first few weeks of the posting but alhamdulillah it's a blessing in disguise as well... an opportunity to revise and think through why I am doing this again + watching 'dingin lavender' just reminded me that I'm not in this alone. Every day since I have started working my mom, E and ain have been sending me to work without failed just as when I was in primary, secondary and college.... Allahu Allah, subhanaAllah, how should I thank You and them enough. And through all the tears and mumbling I been doing everyday after long hours at work, they listened and always there for me. And so do YOU for sure. And not just today but every day .... And for that I need to stay strong, Hold on, Although this 2 years will be hard, HE has promise that HE will never let His servant be on his own, Through thick and thin...

Assalamualaikum wbt to all my dearest sisters whom I dearly miss and always remembered in my doa. MasyaAllah, it's almost x7/12 we'vee been back but why does this heart ache seem to be more than the home sick feeling we used to get? Why does this heart feels more empty than when we were away from the land of so called 'negara Islam'? Why do we feel more alone than when we were the only Muslim in our whole class/ placement among the other British? If only, we decided to stay... I'm amazed at those who never thought about tis and feels content with the life you are living at the moment. And I do hope that any of us who manage to do that to share their tips so I can feel the same way too (thinking of dina because she's amazing at adapting, every obstacles she sees as opportunity not a big hole where you'll end up sinking in :)  I do miss you dina and your spirit) Ain and I been trying to keep in contact although it is difficult looking at our busy...

it is difficult to understand why people acted the way they do, speaks what they have spoken, what more with the unthinkable thoughts running through their mind... it is difficult, absurd, to try to understand it all. Alhamdulillah, He through His Prophet saw, sent down His great words, A guide for me, For us all, So I would not have to understand all this mind bogging questions, Why? How? What on earth? Alhamdulillah, All the answers that matter, Is all in His love letter, And so I am going to stop questioning, And to start spreading, His word of peace and love, To know that I will find solace in His word. -ya Allah, coming out from my comfort zone and now fighting in the real battlefield is not an easy task, seldom i fell down, trying to get up again with many scars and burden I carried along, only to You I ask for forgiveness and strength...